Signs of Breadcrumbing and How to Deal with It so You Don't Get Heartbroken

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Signs of Breadcrumbing and How to Deal with It so You Don't Get Heartbroken
Signs of Breadcrumbing and How to Deal with It so You Don't Get Heartbroken

Breadcrumbing is a form of emotional abuse that is done by someone to manipulate others. Perpetrators will continue to tease the victim so that they are attracted and feel wanted, when in fact they are only being toyed with

Breadcrumbing, also known as PHP (false hope giver), does not only occur in romantic relationships, but also in social, family, or work environments.

Signs of breadcrumbing and how to deal with it so you don't break your heart - Alodokter

Breadcrumbing perpetrators will give as much attention to the victim because they want something, so the victim feels hopeful. Well, after the perpetrator's goal is achieved, the victim will be left alone or hanged.

Signs Someone Is Breadcrumbing

In breadcrumbing, the culprit will place the victim as if he were the chosen one. Unlike ghosting actors who pay a lot of attention to their victims, the breadcrumbs approach seems casual, like texting or calling without being aggressive, but very promising.

This emotional abuse usually involves someone in the past or a potential lover who is considered a potential crush, either directly or through online dating applications. In order not to be caught in the trap of PHP perpetrators, there are several signs that can be recognized from breadcrumbing behavior, including:

  • When you ask about the future with a breadcrumbing abuser, he will answer casually just to please you
  • The offender looks like he wants to date but never spends time with you
  • The perpetrator didn't reply to messages for days or weeks, but when he reappeared, he didn't explain why he disappeared
  • After a while of not showing up, the perpetrator may simply reply to a shorter message or make a short comment on your social media
  • Over time, you will start to feel neglected by the abuser
  • The attention given by the perpetrator will look like a pretense over time
  • The perpetrator never explained himself clearly to you

False hopes built up early in a relationship may make you feel lonely, depressed, and hopeless. Therefore, be aware of some signs of breadcrumbing before you decide to put your heart and trust in others.

How to Deal with Breadcrumbing Perpetrators

Even though it hurts when you fall victim to PHP or breadcrumbing, you don't have to beat yourself up for expecting so much. Face it with the following strategies, so that the culprit can no longer take advantage of the pain you feel:

1. Express directly how you feel

It takes a tremendous amount of courage to express how you feel to the breadcrumbers. Convey slowly and clearly how you want your relationship to be, and ask him to be honest about how he feels.

That way, the breadcrumbing actor will know that his behavior has been making you restless and uncomfortable. However, if he doesn't heed what you say, then it's best to leave him.

2. Tell me about how to deal with you

Perhaps the breadcrumbing abuser has been confused about how best to treat you, so he or she disappears and comes back at will.

So make sure you say what you like and what you can tolerate so that there are no misunderstandings that lead to PHP.

3. Consider all decisions properly

Keeping someone who doesn't want to be together is a waste of time and energy. If he just wants to give you false hope, leave immediately and never again ask how he feels about you.

4. Schedule a time to meet

If you're still curious about what the perpetrator's goal is to approach you and give you so much hope, schedule a time to meet and ask him directly. Don't speculate on your own because it will only make you confused, anxious, and even stressed.

If he doesn't want to meet up or cancel plans at the last minute, maybe he really is just giving false hopes.

5. Stop replying to messages from the perpetrator

Breadcrumbers may keep replying to your messages very briefly just to maintain their manipulative actions. Therefore, it's okay if you don't respond to the message so as not to have an interaction that might offend you.

Remember that you don't have to beg for attention, love, or affection from a breadcrumbper to find happiness. The culprit also does this only because of a high ego, immature, seeking validation, not ready to commit or separate, and feeling lonely.

However, if the breadcrumbing behavior you receive causes stress, anxiety, depression, and even loss of enthusiasm, you can consult a psychologist for advice and the right solution.

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