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Passive, but why aggressive? These two forms of communication are contradictory, but they can be combined into one behavior, you know. Passive-aggressive behavior may still sound foreign to the ear, yes. But actually, this attitude is quite common, you may even have done it
Passive-aggressive behavior is a person's way of expressing negative feelings, such as anger and disappointment, implicitly or indirectly. This behavior is not considered a mental disorder, but can be a symptom of certain mental illnesses.
Passive-aggression can be done consciously or not and the form can also be in the form of words or actions. This can happen in a family, friendship, partner, or work environment.
Passive-Aggressive Behavior Traits
Although it is quite common, this behavior is not easily recognized, you know. People who are passive-aggressive will initially say they don't mind and are fine. They also usually close the conversation on the topic quickly, so don't want to talk about it for too long.
Well, after that, they actually express negative emotions in other annoying ways. Their actions or behavior can even trigger arguments and break up the relationship.
Some of the recognizable traits of passive-aggressive behavior include:
- Procrastinating and making mistakes on purpose
- Goes against instructions from others, but still does as told
- Shows disapproval of other people's requests
- Being sarcastic and argumentative
- Behaving cynically and stubbornly
- Frequently frowns or keeps quiet
- Complaining about feeling unappreciated or cheated
- Making criticism or complaints on social media that lead to one environment or person
An example like this, someone seems to agree with one thing in a forum, but actually he doesn't like or disagree. Well, he will express his disapproval by not doing his job, making a voice of complaint after a meeting, or always being late for a meeting.
Another example, brother and sister are studying in the same room, then brother gives a speech that the younger brother does not like. Instead of telling Big Brother that he doesn't like it, Little Brother turns on the music loudly to annoy Big Brother.
This attitude can also be done through cyberspace, you know. For example, a person is annoyed with his friend who has not paid his debt. Instead of rebuking him directly, he made a satirical post on social media to vent his anger.
Causes of Passive-Aggressive Behavior
There are several factors that can make a person behave passive-aggressively, namely:
A person can behave passively-aggressively because it is believed that the result of parenting, such as helicopter parenting, does not encourage children to express their feelings openly. This is what makes a person vent his negative emotions in a passive way.
2. Fear of rejection
Being abused or neglected as a child can make a person grow into an individual who is afraid of rejection and likes to please others in order to protect himself.
So, not wanting to be ignored, they end up following whatever other people say so as not to be rejected. If they don't agree, they will vent their emotions on passive behavior.
3. Avoid conflict
Perhaps there are not a few people who try to avoid conflict in order to maintain good relations with other people. Well, people like this usually often hide their negative emotions and behave passively-aggressively.
4. Difficulty expressing emotions
Not everyone can express or even recognize their own emotions, especially negative ones. People like this are generally passive-aggressive.
In addition to the four causes above, drug abuse and some mental illnesses can also cause symptoms of passive-aggressive behavior. These mental illnesses include anxiety disorders, personality disorders, bipolar disorder, ADHD, or depression.
Well, after knowing the information above, are you a passive-aggressive person? If the answer is yes, try to slowly manage the way you behave with other people, okay.
The trick is to identify your own feelings and needs first. Then, practice expressing yourself, for example learning assertiveness and learning about conflict management. All of this will probably take a lot of time, but don't give up and get discouraged, okay.
If your passive-aggressive behavior has damaged your relationships with many people or has reduced your quality of life, you should consult a psychologist or psychiatrist for the best advice on how to get out of this problem.