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Not a few mothers-in-law are wrong in their attitude and make the relationship with their daughter-in-law and children tenuous. Therefore, if your child is or is about to get married, it is important for you to try to be a good mother-in-law for the sake of family harmony. See how in this article
When the child finds his idol and gets married, it is not uncommon for the mother to feel that she is no longer an important person in the child's life. Unwittingly by the mother, this can trigger the emergence of competition and resentment towards her daughter-in-law.
Mothers can be unpleasant to their daughter-in-law and interfere in children's household matters when things don't match their expectations. For example, taking part in managing household matters, criticizing the son-in-law's behavior, or even pitting the son-in-law against the child.
How to Be a Good Mother-in-law
The unfavorable relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is indeed not foreign. In fact, stereotypes about this have existed since time immemorial. However, that doesn't mean the mother-in-law's dispute with the daughter-in-law can be justified, doesn't it.
As a mother-in-law, you need to be kind to your daughter-in-law in order to create a harmonious and happy family. Here's how you can be a good mother-in-law:
1. Giving trust
Instead of always criticizing, try to believe in every decision your child and daughter-in-law make. As much as possible refrain when there is something you want to criticize. This is because there is a high possibility of misinterpretation if you try to interfere in their affairs.
Put full trust in them can make them learn from mistakes and be more confident in building a household.
2. Not giving advice without being asked
Even if you are experienced in the household, it's best to avoid giving advice if you don't ask for it. Also avoid insinuating the behavior or attitude of your daughter-in-law that is not suitable for you.
Advising too much and being sarcastic will only make them feel like they are being judged. Instead, give support and encouragement to every idea and thing they do, including the way they educate their children (parenting), even though it may not be according to your wishes.
3. Do not give excessive favors and gifts
There is nothing wrong with giving help and gifts, but don't overdo it. Every now and then, you may offer to help look after your grandchildren when your child and daughter-in-law are resting or are having me time.
Avoid offering to help with things they can do on their own, such as cleaning the house when your children and in-laws are not busy. The important thing to remember is that you don't want to take over all their household affairs, okay.
4. Respect the privacy of the child's family
Not only children should respect their parents, parents also need to do the same. Don't be provoked by negative emotions or thoughts when your children and in-laws don't involve you in something. They certainly have their own reasons for doing this.
Respect for the privacy of children and in-laws, one of which can be realized by giving the news in advance when they want to visit their homes. Don't let your sudden arrival disturb their rest.
5. Love and accept daughter-in-law for who she is
True love is the key to the success of all relationships, including in the family. Everyone wants to be accepted and loved, not to mention your own daughter-in-law.
Even though there are some things you don't like about him, try to accept your daughter-in-law for who she is. Remember, no human is perfect. Try not to be too pushy or even insult your daughter-in-law for her shortcomings.
When the child has found a partner and started his own family, remember that this is not a competition. Don't interfere in their household matters, let alone put your child in a difficult position, such as choosing between a mother or a partner.
Compared to father-in-law, the fact is that mother-in-law is more likely to have contact with her son and daughter-in-law. This is the reason why domestic conflicts often involve the mother-in-law rather than the father-in-law. However, that does not mean that conflicts with father-in-law cannot occur.
Neither father or mother-in-law, both must be kind. That way, the relationship with the son-in-law can be harmonious. Don't be labeled as an annoying mother-in-law, okay.
If you have a problem with your daughter-in-law and are having trouble dealing with it yourself, don't hesitate to ask a psychologist for advice who specializes in dealing with this problem. If necessary, a psychologist can also provide family counseling to improve your relationship with your child and daughter-in-law.