Good Girl Syndrome, When Being Good It Makes You Unhappy

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Good Girl Syndrome, When Being Good It Makes You Unhappy
Good Girl Syndrome, When Being Good It Makes You Unhappy
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Since childhood, women are often taught by their family or environment to always be kind, sweet, or gentle. This is not wrong. However, if everything starts to feel like a burden, this may be a sign that you have good girl syndrome

Good girl syndrome is an attitude when a woman forces herself to always be kind and please others, without thinking about her feelings or even her own rights. This attitude makes him inclined to avoid criticism, conflict, rejection, and blame.

Good Girl Syndrome, When Being Good It Makes You Unhappy - Alodokter

Being a kind woman is certainly a commendable attitude. However, if you do it forcefully to the point of sacrificing your feelings and harming yourself, this attitude is not worth keeping.

Characteristics of Good Girl Syndrome

Broadly speaking, the attitude of good girl syndrome is the same as people pleaser. Both of them try to do whatever it takes to not disappoint others. They also tend to be obedient and are more silent for fear that their words will hurt others.

The following are the characteristics of good girl syndrome that you need to know:

  • It's hard to say “no” and express what you want
  • Fear of making other people sad or upset
  • Perfectionist
  • Feeling required to excel
  • forced to do good things to please others and pretend to be happy
  • Be very obedient to the rules, even if they are small unimportant rules

How to Get Rid of Good Girl Syndrome

It is called good girl syndrome because this attitude is common among women. Girls tend to mature emotionally faster so they are more serious about instilling their parents' advice to be good children. The possibility of this happening will be even greater if the parenting pattern is authoritarian.

Instilling values ​​that have been started since childhood sometimes makes some women feel they have to be perfect and as much as possible not to get negative responses from other people. In fact, in fact whatever you do should be based on your decisions and for your own good, not others.

Good girl syndrome is a condition that usually takes root. However, it is never too late to break free from this attitude. Here are ways you can do to be free from good girl syndrome:

1. Be assertive

Instill an assertive attitude in yourself. This attitude is the ability to communicate in a firm and honest way, but still maintain the feelings of others. With this attitude, you will be appreciated more and will not continue to be used by others.

Try to be brave to express your opinion. Say "no" if you are asked to do something that could harm you. Also give a good reason why you don't want to do it.

2. Avoid feeling guilty

Don't feel guilty when you have to refuse requests from others. Your life is not just to please other people. So, as long as you have an honest and reasonable reason, there's no need to feel guilty, let alone to blame yourself, okay.

3. Build self-confidence

Instead of continuing to do everything to make other people happy, you better hone your skills to be more confident. Learn a new skill or take up a new hobby that you've always wanted to try, such as knitting, mountain climbing, or solo traveling.

That way, you will focus more on your strengths than your weaknesses. You will also feel more confident, especially when other people see you dare to decide to do what you love and pursue it.

4. Love yourself

When you succeed in loving yourself, you will feel happier and more enjoy every process of life that you live. Don't forget to always be grateful for everything you have, okay.

If you feel you are experiencing good girl syndrome, apply the ways above to stop this attitude. Helping others is a good thing, but remember that you don't live to fulfill other people's expectations, but to fulfill your own dreams and feel happy.

Try to find your own happiness and desire. If you find it difficult to do so, you can consult a psychologist for advice and guidance to stop being a people pleaser and learn to love yourself.

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