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Often we are so focused on loving and pleasing others that we forget ourselves. In fact, the person you should love first is yourself. There are many ways you can do, really, to love yourself
Not a few people think that self-love or self-love is a selfish act and shows an indifferent attitude towards others. In fact, loving yourself and being selfish are 2 different things, you know.
Loving yourself doesn't mean you want to win yourself, but respect and love yourself, so you can feel enough with yourself, regardless of all the shortcomings you have. In addition, this attitude will make it easier for you to reach your dreams and have he althy relationships with other people. Self-love is also important to have to get good self-esteem.
The Right Way to Love Yourself
Trauma due to sexual or physical abuse, toxic relationship or toxic parenting, expectations that are too high for themselves, ambition to meet other people's expectations, and overly perfectionistic traits can be the cause of a person not loving himself.
In addition, the attitude of comparing oneself to others too often can also be one of the reasons why a person forgets all the things that need to be grateful for within himself.Instead of being an encouragement to develop better, this attitude makes a person dislike himself and his life.
Well, so that you can love yourself and get the benefits, let's apply the following method:
1. Treat yourself the same way you treat others
It may sound simple, but many people don't do this because they think that their own needs are not the main thing. From now on, try to learn to treat yourself the same way you treat others.
If you always speak softly and compliment others, do the same to yourself. In addition, if you often reward other people's achievements, also reward yourself when you succeed in doing something.
2. Understand yourself
Make a list of things that make you feel happy and sad. This will make you understand yourself better, so you can focus on finding happiness and avoiding things that make you sad.
If someone makes you sad, don't just sit back and let it go, okay? Better tell him that what he is doing is not pleasing to your heart. That way, other people will understand how to treat you.
3. Do what you love
Don't just list things that make you happy, make them tick the activities you need to do as a form of loving yourself. Take time out on the weekends to do whatever you love, like eat well, go to an art exhibition, relax at a coffee shop, or go to the beach.
Setting aside time for yourself or me time and doing things you love can be a form of appreciation or reward that can improve your mood and make you feel happier.
4. Train yourself to forgive every mistake you do
Shame about doing something wrong can make you feel guilty and angry with yourself. Instead of solving problems, blaming yourself can actually make you feel insecure and hindered from growing.
If you make a mistake, try to forgive yourself and keep thinking positive. Remember, it is normal to make mistakes. The most important thing is that you learn from your mistakes and try not to repeat them again.
5. Do meditation
Meditation trains a harmonious balance between mind and body so as to create a peaceful feeling and clear mind, and increase concentration. This way can make you truly one with yourself, so that the awareness to love yourself arises by itself.
Besides that, meditation can also improve your mood and nourish your body, you know. In fact, a meditation technique called metta meditation is known to increase self-love.
Today, there are many applications that can help you to do meditation on your own. Practice regularly, at least for 5–60 minutes every day, okay.
Before loving someone else, it would be nice for you to love and make yourself happy first. If you are happy, other people who see you will be happy too, right?
But believe it or not, loving yourself is something that needs to be trained. Not a few people who need help to be able to love themselves. If you feel like this and the ways above are difficult for you to do, don't hesitate to ask other people for help, at least to complain.
If you still find it difficult to love yourself, let alone hate yourself or hurt yourself, don't hesitate to consult a psychologist, okay? You can express whatever you feel about yourself so that a psychologist can help you deal with it.