Table of contents:
- These are the Causes and Characteristics of Rebound Relationships
- The Adverse Effects of Rebound Relationships for Yourself and Your Partner
The end of a romantic relationship can indeed leave deep wounds. In order to avoid the sadness of a breakup, some people may choose to have a romantic relationship with a new person. This relationship is usually called a rebound relationship
Rebound relationship is a relationship that exists when you just broke up or haven't fully moved on from your past partner. Relationships like this run the risk of becoming an outlet and end quickly. This is because rebound relationships tend not to be based on love.
These are the Causes and Characteristics of Rebound Relationships
The fear of living life alone without a partner, not used to feeling lonely, needing someone who is always by your side, and the desire to quickly forget the past with your ex, can be the cause of you being stuck in a rebound relationship.
You may not realize when you are in a rebound relationship. Well, there are several distinctive features of rebound relationships, namely:
1. Relationship is not serious
The main characteristic of rebound relationships is the absence of clear seriousness and commitment in them. This generally occurs because the rebound relationship is only an outlet for disappointment due to the failure of the previous relationship. Unconsciously, you position your new lover as a runaway.
When you are in this relationship, you have no desire to take this relationship to a more serious level, namely marriage. You just seem to be playing games for a short time, without wanting to build a household and become husband and wife.
2. Often talk about ex-lover
If you're still thinking about your ex-lover, still monitoring his social media, and even often comparing him to your new partner, it means you haven't moved on completely.
No one is comfortable listening to their partner discuss their ex-lover, you know. If the image of your ex continues to haunt your mind, it could be a sign that you still love him and haven't been able to start a new relationship with someone else.
3. Not open and honest with each other
A he althy relationship will be built when you and your partner are always honest, open, and trust each other. Isn't your partner someone who deserves to be the place to pour your heart no matter what the problem is? Openness and honesty are 2 things that are natural for you to do when you are in a relationship with someone.
At the beginning of this relationship, you and your partner should explore each other's nature, not keep it a secret. If you don't trust your partner and keep some things from him, this relationship may not last long.
4. Call when you need it
How often do you call your partner and ask him out? If it's very rare and you're too indifferent, it could be that the relationship you're currently in is a rebound relationship.
Normally, couples who are just in a romantic relationship will often meet, communicate, and date. But if this doesn't happen to you, chances are you're not really in love with your current boyfriend.
5. Not introducing your lover to your friends
When you are in love with someone, you should introduce them to your closest friends.However, if you feel shy or refuse to introduce him to your friends and circle of friends, this is usually a sign that you don't see him as important and don't want everyone to know you're dating.
6. Want to show off new lover with ex
People who are entangled in rebound relationships usually haven't fully recovered from the pain of previous relationship failures. If you feel deep pain after a breakup, it's possible that you want to return those feelings to your ex, you know.
One way is to flaunt your new lover through social media or deliberately introduce him in front of his ex or close friends.
The Adverse Effects of Rebound Relationships for Yourself and Your Partner
It's only natural that after a breakup you feel very depressed, disappointed, and angry. However, immediately establishing a relationship with a new person is not the right solution, especially if the above characteristics occur in your relationship with your new lover, maybe.
A study even revealed that most rebound relationships actually have a negative impact on themselves and also on new partners. The following is a possible impact on you and your new lover:
Impact on self
If you are someone who is looking for an escape with a rebound relationship, you are more likely to:
- Being dependent on someone else, who in this case is your new lover, makes you less independent.
- Feeling overconfident or narcissistic, which can result in reduced empathy for your new lover or those around you.
- Repressed feelings of anger and disappointment, which are unconsciously vented to a new lover
Impact on new lover
Meanwhile, someone who is involved in a rebound relationship and finds himself or herself a runaway will be more prone to:
- Feeling fear of rejection, failure, trust and abandonment.
- Feeling worthless.
- Feeling one-sided love.
- Lost confidence.
In addition, rebound relationships can also make lovers manipulate each other. For example, your new boyfriend may feel sorry for you, so he will do his best to help you get over your ex and fulfill whatever you want so you don't feel sad because he loves you so much.
You can also feel guilty with your feelings that are still fixated on your ex, so you try to pay for that mistake by complying with all kinds of demands from your new lover so that he doesn't feel secondary.
It's true, not all rebound relationships are bad. In fact, this relationship can be an opportunity for a heartbroken person to be able to love someone new who wants to love him sincerely.However, a rebound relationship can only be successful if it is based on mutual trust and respect.
Relationships based on negative feelings, such as jealousy, disappointment, and anger, as happens in most rebound relationships, are unhe althy to live with and can be detrimental to both parties who live them.
Instead of building a romantic relationship like a fairy tale to be able to move on, you can actually get hurt again. What's worse, you can be disappointed with yourself for hurting someone, then traumatized to open or build new relationships with other people.
So, before you really move on and heal from previous wounds, it's a good idea to fix your feelings until you feel ready to love and commit to a new person.
If you find it very difficult to forget your ex, there's nothing wrong with consulting a psychologist to get the right solution to your problems or your love relationship.